Losing 2-1 at Middlesbrough was something special.
It really was something we have never seen before.
It was, I think, the sight of Arsenal bottoming out, reaching the point where they could not get any worse.
Not one player was worth the shirt.
For the first time in 11 years under Arsene Wenger, no player played well.
The whole team, to a man, was rubbish.
Having said that, I didn’t get bent out of shape, I just watched it and let it flop over me in waves of mediocrity. There was something inevitable, something tidal, about the waves of mediocrity that splashed out off the TV screen and washed across the carpet towards my feet. I didn’t shout, didn’t swear at the screen, didn’t throw my remote-control at the TV, like some people.
We were quite laidback, me and Michael, who eventually said, “Arsene Wenger, restoring pride to the North East.”
I grinned and said, “Draw at St James’s Park, turn round Newcastle’s season. Lose at the Riverside, turn round Middlesbrough’s season.”
TOURE flattened Aliadiere to concede a needless penalty and give Boro a way into the match in 4 minutes Aliadiere was going nowhere. He was running away from the goal. Almunia rushed out, Toure sent the Aliadiere flying with a careless challenge. A team without a Premiership win in 11 games now had a lifeline. Toure cares too much and that’s why he does silly things. He’s old enough to know better. What he did was very unprofessional. Unworthy of the serious footballer he tries to be. He has been panicky of late, as he sees his team falling apart.
ALMUNIA went the right way for Downing’s penalty. A low shot, poorly struck, but he dived forward and over the ball. Technique has never been his strong point. And his body language never looks right. A proper keeper, diving the right way but not saving a penalty, invariably expresses rage and frustration with a punch, a shout, a gesture of some kind. But Almunia was blank, as usual, because he is a bozo.
In 73 Almunia parried O’Neill’s shot straight to Tuncay, who rifled it high inside the near post. By now Arsene must know that his team will never win a trophy with this bozo in goal. It’s obvious. He cannot ignore the obvious any longer. It’s time to own up and restore Lehmann.
SAGNA wasn’t as good as usual.
CLICHY wasn’t either.
GILBERTO looks redundant.
EBOUE was lucky to stay the pitch.
DIARRA was taken off.
ROSICKY scored but only 3 seconds remained.
ADEBAYOR was feeble and got no service.
EDUARDO was replaced at half-time by Bendtner. Very, very unusual for Arsene to sub a player at half-time, which tells you how useless Eduardo was.
BENDTNER couldn’t improve things as much as he has done in his previous sub appearances. When Bendtner crossed, the ball bounced and hit Adebayor’s knee and went to the keeper. That wasn’t a goal-attempt. It was a control-attempt. That was Arsenal’s day : inept.
I’d have to agree with Tony Gale who says 4-4-2 doesn’t work for Arsenal, as they need the spare man in midfield, so they can fizz the ball about.
WALCOTT worked back and started the move for Arsenal’s goal in the left back position. He won the ball, pass to Gilberto, to Clichy, low cross along the edge of the penalty area, Bendtner stumbled as he tried to reach it, Rosicky drilled his shot low across the keeper, a slick, tidy finish. Shame it was Arsenal’s first shot and didn’t mean anything. A good goal but an irrelevant one, a stat rather than a consolation. The only consolation is that Arsenal are still top and still one point above Man United.
Next Sunday is GRAND SLAM SUNDAY – Liverpool v Man Utd, Arsenal v Chelsea – but this was GRIM FLOP SUNDAY.
One to forget, a game too far. After 15 minutes, a rabble. After 45, maybe the worst 45 minutes by any table-topping team in the history of the Prem?
We were watching a team with its creative hub removed. FabFlamHleb is the creative hub of Arsenal. Those three players make it fast, fluent and rhythmical. Those three connect the back to the front and connect the front to the back. Without Fabregas, Flamini and Hleb, Arsenal can’t play keep-ball, can’t control a game, can’t function as they did in their first 11 Premiership games.
On Sunday two of my closest Gooner pals said,” Play the kids against Blackburn and Burnley, who cares about the cups? Concentrate on the league ! “
Today a third friend said, “If we play like that against Chelsea, we’ll lose 5-0. Wednesday is just a training session for Sunday.”
Arsene Wenger said, “We lost because we deserved to lose. Boro were sharper in the fight. We lacked confidence. We missed the start of the game by giving them too much room and a penalty.
“We lacked creativity and sharpness in our passing, and we were not dangerous enough to come back into the game.
“It is a shame. We gave everything to come back. They defended well and credit to them. We had problems winning our one-against-ones. I don’t like to speak about the players who are not here. I like to talk about those who played.We miss many in the same area and maybe it handicapped our creative potential, but that doesn’t mean we have to give a penalty away.”
On Saturday night, at the last moment before crashing out, I decided to do something I’d never done before.
I took my little Sony radio to bed with me. If I woke up at 4pm or 5pm I could listen to the fight under the duvet without waking Jan.
If I didn’t wake up, fine, just get up for breakfast and see who won. As luck would have it, I woke up at 5.19 a.m. and grabbed the radio from under my pillow and put both headphones on and the fight was in the eighth round and Ricky Hatton was getting battered and Floyd Mayweather dominated the ninth and then knocked Hatton down twice in the 10th.
Listening to the fight under the duvet was a schoolboy idea and I won’t do that again. I listened to the radio for 10 minutes and then couldn’t get back to sleep for two hours. Kept remembering my dad, who insisted that a good boxer will always beat a good fighter. I thought : There’s nothing new in boxing. All the old cliches are true. The left hook is the best punch in boxing. Size matters. A good big ‘un will always beat a good little ‘un. Ricky Hatton is not a welterweight.
Last week I was reading about Led Zeppelin’s reunion gig at the o2 Centre in London, their first concert in 19 years. I wondered what tonight’s gig would be like and this morning BBC Breakfast gave me the answer : full of Yanks.
I saw a video link with the caption Communication Breakdown : Led Zeppelin at Royal Albert Hall, 1970, and thought : I was there. So I clicked and …it was good.
The three things I remember about Zep are the boutiques, the Lyceum and the Albert Hall. In 1969 and 1970, everywhere you went around the west end, in almost every shop, stall and boutique, they played Zeppelin.
Being a Stones fan, I wasn’t into their music but I knew a bit about them because my best friend Doug used to book them for Chrysalis. At the time I was a feature writer for Radio Times, but not a rock critic, so Doug put my name of the door at the Lyceum, which was the first time a band had dared to charge £1 for a concert. The Lyceum held about 2,000 people.
The Albert Hall was boring for an hour and then they roared into their big riff numbers and for those four songs Led Zeppelin were the loudest, sexiest, most pulverising rock band I’ve ever seen. It was super heavy riffmanship by the first and greatest exponents of superheavy riffmanship, a thunderous sonic exploration of sex, drugs and violence, an experience of sensory overload – nobody has done it better.
I wasn’t a headbanger but I remember lurching out into Kensington Gore and staggering down the High Street and walking home to St Ann’s Villas though Holland Park and thinking, “That was incredible ! They’re gonna make this illegal soon !”