By Myles Palmer
ON Thursday morning I was swimming and thinking about Man United v Arsenal and wondering if I should preview a game when we do not know which players are playing.
My gym’s never busy in December and I had a lane to myself and I was enjoying it and thinking that a big Spanish cloud hangs over this game : the Deportivo-Valencia cloud.
I reckon United care more about beating Deportivo again.
And Arsenal care more about taking three points off Valencia.
What a perfect Xmas cushion six Champions League points would be !
I reckon this would have been a big game in January.It’s come a month too soon.
In December, just before Champions League games,it might be just a three-pointer rather than a titanic struggle.
A 1-1 draw might suit Fergie, and Arsene.
Sure, United want revenge for May 8th and there is a lot of huffing and puffing.
And predictable tosh about : Is van Nistelrooy better than Henry?
Right now I’m bored stiff by all that.
And dubious about Saturday morning Sky games after seeing an 8-minute thriller tacked on the end of an 82-minute yawn at Anfield a week ago.
Last night Alex Fynn phoned and said The Professor has pride of place at Waterstones in Hatfield, at The Galleria.
He said my paperback is on special display there.
This morning I remember Alex and phone the shop.
But I call the wrong number and get Waterstones in Hereford,where a nice girl gives me the number I want.
She says “We’re only a small shop. But we’ve sold two and we’ve got two in stock.”
“I’m delighted that you’ve got my book,” I reply.“I’ve always wanted to go to Hereford and get beaten up in a pub by the SAS.”
“It’s not like that at all,”she protests.
“I’m only kidding, I defer to no-one in my admiration of the SAS.”
So I call Hatfield and the delightful girl there says she has 23 Professors in stock and has sold 57 copies.
“They train at London Colney, so they’re our local team.”
“Well, this is nice news for me cos I grew up in Stevenage. And we used to play Hatfield – Stevenage Athletic Under-16s and Under 18s. So it’s really nice to be a small star in a small town in Hertfordshire.”
Didn’t tell her that Hatfield once beat us 5-2 and we were dismantled by Pigeon and Hargreaves,who played for England youth.
I spent the next 30 years wondering whether Pigeon and
Hargreaves became pros.
Must go now.
Caroline’s just come home from school and we’re going Xmas shopping.
My Xmas shopping trips are usually lightning fast and deadly accurate,like a good commando raid.
I’m more optimistic about the shopping than the match.
Caroline hates shopping, and I hate shopping, being a beatnik, so the trip won’t take long…
December 5th 2002.