By Myles Palmer
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I’ve had some flak about Vieira.
Such as : for six years you’ve told us he’s great – and now you don’t care if he leaves !
So perhaps I should clarify my position.
My position is that I did NOT want to write about it.
I remember thinking, about 3 weeks ago : If I write nothing, I won’t upset anybody.
CLEARLY, if Vieira leaves, Arsene has to change the format.
Vieira is the hinge on which their narrow style swings.
Arsenal attack fast down the middle, and down the left, and many attacks go through him.
They are a switch team, an interception team, a load-and-fire team, an archery team – they fire each other directly towards the goal.
PATRICK gets it from Sol, he finds Robert or Dennis or Thierry, easily, fluently, very quickly, very efficiently.
Exceptionally nimble for a player of six feet four, he can use both feet deftly and NOBODY ELSE could perform that role in that style as well as Patrick Vieira does.
So if he goes, you have to change the format.
Which is due a change anyway, in my view.
I POSTPONED WRITING about Vieira / Madrid as long as I could.
But people expected me to write something.
So I wrote three pieces about Vieira and did two radio programmes.
What happened was this : Tim Rich from the Independent called Virgin Books and they called me and said: Would you speak to Tim and give him a quote about Vieira ?
So I did that.
Next day, Anne Marie from Radio 5 Live calls and says, “I hope you don’t mind, I got your number from Tim Rich, would you appear on our Saturday morning programme ?”
So I say : I don’t want to have a bad experience like I did on the Simon Mayo show. I went down there and was treated with utter contempt.
He had not read even one chapter of my book, he had not even read the blurb, he was barely civil, he picked the book up as if it was dead vermin, and after a couple of minutes he said, “That’s enough of that! “
I told her that Simon Mayo is an arsehole and that I had worked for Radio Times for 16 years, I had interviewed Noel Edmunds when Simon Mayo was still in short trousers, and met hundreds of people who worked for the BBC, but I had never been as rudely treated by anyone.
But Ann-Marie is very, very nice, so I said I would do it.
She said they want me about 11 on Saturday morning, she will call at 10.45.
On Thursday I did a piece on ANR saying: Let’s wait till Sunday, see what Vieira says in the News of the World.
On Friday Night a Dublin station calls and I do 18 minutes with them.
I remember saying, “Trezeguet is a plonker and Kluivert is a plonker – and if Newcastle sign Kluivert, Bobby Robson is a plonker, and Freddie Shepherd is a plonker.”
Saturday morning, I don’t have a clue what type of show it is,so I switch on 5 Live.
The host is Ian McGarry of The Daily Mail and he’s pretty glib and gracious and fluent, a good broadcaster who sounds like a natural broadcaster.
I’m only an occasional broadcaster, so I sometimes struggle with it
I’m amazed that McGarry has 3 guests in the studio: Shaun Custis of The Sun, Gabriele Marcotti of The Times, and agent Jon Holmes.
So I think : What do they need me for?
Ann Marie phones and explains that I’m supposed to talk about Vieira’s departure. How Wenger will react? Will it test his man-management skills? How will he replace his captain?
I’m starting to like the girl.
The conversatation goes something like this.
Ann Marie : “You’ll be on about 12 and I’ll call you back at 11.45.”
Myles : “Fine.”
Ann Marie : “You won’t say anything about Simon Mayo, will you?”
Myles : “You’re giving me ideas now !”
So I watch a bit of the British Open and they call me back.
Their line is : Vieira has gone. It has happened. He has left Arsenal, gone to Madrid.
I’m reluctant to accept that until Vieira or Wenger says it.
So I say on air that we just might read in the News of the World that Vieira says he loves the club and will stay at Arsenal.
Marcotti laughs and says, “This man is insane ! ”
And then Ann Marie takes me off the air.
I don’t really care whether I’m on the show or not, it’s no big deal, but hanging about all morning has been a chore, so I’m annoyed.
Ann Marie says : “I’m sorry, would you like to rejoin the programme?”
And I say, “ No, and don’t call me again.”
That was Saturday July 17th.
Two weeks later, Vieira is still an Arsenal player.
And Daily Mail journalist Ian McGarry is still close to Steve Kutner, Vieira’s agent.
If I had known on July 17th that McGarry was so close to Kutner, I would NOT have appeared on that programme.
Indeed, if I had read McGarry’s Daily Mail article of that Saturday, saying that Vieira was leaving because he knew Wenger was leaving in 2005, I would not have agreed to do it.
But I did not read that article till the Monday.
YESTERDAY, Thursday 29th July, I was asked to go to the talkSPORT studio to chat about The Professor.
The updated paperback is out next week and has a new cover and a new chapter.
Virgin had sent me an author’s copy on Wednesday and I read the new chapter on the tube to Southwark.
I had reluctantly cut the Rob Hughes Foreword. A reader had complained that it was out of date.
It WAS out of date.
And I could not, in all conscience, ask somebody as busy as Rob to write another Foreword. Even though he is a good friend.
Unable at the end of July to remember what I had written in May, but it all came flooding back, and I was happy enough with the way I had summarised last season.
The new Preface, although short, seemed OK too, and said some things that needed to be in the book.
Arriving at TalkSPORT, I meet presenter Piers Hernu, who writes for FHM and was once the editor of Front, another lads mag.
I record a light-hearted 20-minute session with Piers, an Arsenal supporter, and his pal Ian, a Chelsea supporter.
They do a magazine programme which goes out on Saturdays.
Ian asks about Arsene’s financial acumen and I said, “All of his big purchases have been good, except Wiltord.”
“Oh, Wiltord’s scored a few goals,” protests Piers.
I give Piers a heavy stare, as if to say : Behave yourself !
“Let’s not talk about Wiltord,” I reply, with as much finality as I can muster.
Inevitably, they ask about Vieira.
“Tedious,” I said. “It’s like the Chinese water torture.”
Mercifully, they don’t ask about Sven.
I would have said : If the FA allow the press to sack Sven now, then the FA will be running scared from the press from now till the end of time.
We talk about rumours and speculation, about how fans have to read between the lines.
At one point I said, “Look, Everton play Arsenal on August 15th. Rooney won’t be playing and Vieira might not be playing and they are unbeaten in 38 games last season and they want to stay unbeaten. Reyes and van Persie will take Everton apart, it will probably be 5-1. Until then, everything is training….. and tittle-tattle.”
But I don’t think Piers wanted to hear that.
30th July 2004.