By Myles Palmer
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I HEARD two things about Chelsea.
On Sunday I heard that Chelsea will try to rattle Lehmann early doors, try to play on the goalkeeper’s allegedly suspect temperament.
Try to wind him up so he throws the ball at somebody, or decks one of them.
Jens is too smart to fall for that.
Chelsea can only barge him at corners and they could be 2-0 down before they get a corner.
ON TUESDAY I heard that Peter Kenyon had three press briefings over breakfast at Simpsons in the Strand.
The first was with the daily tabloids four or five weeks ago.
More recently, breakfast with the broadsheet dailies.
Then, last Thursday, it was the Sunday papers, who variously reported that Chelsea want Capello, O’Neill and Wenger.
SURE, ABRAMOVICH is entitled to hire a new manager.
If Abramavich thinks Ranieri is too defensive, that he tinkers too much, and the oligarch wants to see the same eleven playing every week, and he wants to win with style like Arsenal, then he is entitled to hire another manager in the summer.
Kenyon has a 3-5 year plan.
If Ranieri is the wrong manager for the next 5 years, and he wins the Champions League in 2004, he is still the wrong manager.
But why write off this season by humiliating him? It’s self-sabotage.
I’M STILL WINNING BETS ON AC MILAN – and I love the Asian Line Handicap at 1.85.
Milan stuttered at the start against Deportivo last night, firing too many long balls up to Pippo and Shev.
Valeron was looking like the smartest playmaker since Suarez, the Barcelona maestro in the Sixties.
Pandiani netted with a header when a short corner routine caught Milan cold after 11 but the Milan machine began to roll after 25 and Cafu and Pancaro were sending over cross after cross.
After 41, a shot of VIPs in the stand showed Berlusconi’s face – he looked as if both parents had died.
After 45, Cafu crossed and the ball was too high as Kaka ran in for it.
So Kaka just allowed the ball to hit his left thigh and then calmly slammed in a right foot volley for 1-1.
He made it look easy. Great players always do.
Kaka is 21 and they are already comparing him to Platini.
Second half kicked off, Shevchenko scored in 21 seconds.
Shev took Andrade and Naybet apart before making it 2-1.
Truth is, Naybet has been knackered since the African Cup of Nations, and Andrade is still a bambino at this level.
The world’s best-balanced team turned on a power-play and grabbed three goals in six minutes and 29 seconds.
Seedorf caught Mauro Silva in possession and Kaka hit a Falcao-style rocket into the bottom corner for 3-1.
By then keeper Molina was psychologically concussed and he could only get a glove to Pirlo’s curling free-kick from 25 yards.
After 53 it was 4-1 and then Milan just played keep-ball, really. Tie over.
PORTO beat Lyon 2-0, which surprised me a little bit.
When I talk to Rob Hughes about the Champions League I often use my old line : My Brazilians are better than your Brazilians.
In many CL games over the last five years, that’s what it is about : having better Brazilians.
Elber, Juninho and Edmilson had a bad night, while Deco had a good night, scoring the first goal in 44 and making the second with an awesomely accurate free-kick which gave Ricardo Carvalho an easy header from six yards in 71.
Chelsea have no Brazilians, Arsenal have Edu and Gilberto.
RONALDO is back to face Monaco tonight, but Morientes could outshine him.
Perez thought Del Bosque gave the senior players too much power, so he bounced him, and Hierro, and hired Queiroz, who gives the senior players too much power.
At Real, the sponsors apparently insist that the galacticos play every game, so the coach only picks the other five and the bench.
And the other five and the bench ain’t good enough.
Real Madrid need four new players and they should use Helguera in midfield.
ON MONDAY NIGHT KEVIN KEEGAN started Fowler and Anelka and lost 2-1 at Leeds.
But Keegan was unlucky.
Anelka had been out for six games and was feeble for 40 minutes and then he rifled a low shot across Robinson to equalise McPhail’s fluke free-kick, which had curved over the heads and bounced in by the far post, a la Zola.
Leeds cheated their way to three points when Alan Smith stumbled past Van Buyten and dived – and ref Alan Wiley sent the Dutchman off.
A ridiculous, crazy decision by Wiley.
Clearly, one of the worst three penalty decisions of the season so far.
Viduka, having headed on to Smith, slotted for 2-1.
Keegan is still talking as if Man City are 6th, but they are 16th.
Being a big name, Keegan likes players with CVs.
Big names are impressed by big names.
When I was younger, and more judgmental, I would have said that anybody who signs McManaman deserves to be relegated.
That’s enough football for one morning.
24th March 2004