By Myles Palmer
The French Revolution is the kind of book that should sell well in paperback a year from now.
It has three authors; Alex Hayes of The Independent, Daniel Ortelli, and Xavier Rivoire of L’Equipe.
The book has a huge subject : It’s about Cantona and all the French players and managers who have worked in English football.
At its best it tells you things you don’t know and at its worst it circles around and interrupts itself by telling you something it has already told you.
So it’s lacking in narrative thrust and thematic discipline,like a river that meanders into oxbows, little horseshoe pools cut off from the main stream.
Still, a discursive approach, like a continental cafe discussion, has merits too, and since the writers are all French or French-speaking, maybe it was written mainly for publication in France.
I’ve only just thought of that. It would explain a lot.
So it’s an ambitious book, a rewarding book, but not as easy to finish as I would like. And you have to be able to read between the lines.
It says, mostly, that the French are all wonderful. And it says that because the authors, obviously, have to maintain a working relationship with the people they have interviewed.
Gooners will enjoy the quotes from Tiburce Darrou, the fitness coach Arsene uses in Antibes.
This guy, who has a healthy ego, has worked with Becker,McEnroe, Connors, rally drivers, sailors, cyclists, sportsmen of all kinds.
Tiburce never talks to reporters, so the interview here, from 2001, is a scoop.
“I am the only person outside Arsenal who really knows Arsenal,” he says modestly.
“I spend ten days here, ten days there. I cannot be in one club, there is too much routine.”
Tiburce has worked one-on-one with Adams, Wrighty and Petit,and with Jeffers and Van Bronkhorst.
He says he advised Arsene to leave Japan,”I convinced him to come back to Europe.It took some time for him to decide,because he liked it over there.”
He also says,”The day Arsene stops managing Arsenal, he stops managing for good.
“What he lives here is a dream. He did not need to invest one penny, but he manages the money of the club, he is the boss.What else could he dream of?”
Petit reckons he could play with Vieira blindfolded, which is almost true.
He says, “With Patrick, right from the beginning, we knew that we could be an extraordinary pair, because physically we were above the rest, and we complemented each other perfectly.”
The authors cite Petit’s departure from Arsenal as a big mistake by Wenger.
I disagree with that, big time. I was delighted to see Petit sold, as I think I make clear in The Professor.
Elswhere, some revealing bits and pieces.
Ginola says he’s convinced Cantona resented him coming to England and stealing some of his limelight.
Silvestre says he was in the Ukraine with France Under-21s when Fergie first called him.
Blanc says he loves playing in front of Barthez. Maybe that’s because Barthez comes out so fast when Blanc is beaten for pace.
A sociologist, Professor John Williams, says, “When Houllier arrived, he was appalled by the lack of connection between training and play……He was amazed by the talent of Michael Owen, but appalled by the quality of coaching Owen had had with the club.”
Schemmel says the French players at West Ham have been simple, humble guys, unlike a striker they signed from Arsenal.
He says,”I don’t think it will be that easy when another Croatian player shows up around here, following what happened with Suker.”
That’s too much of a tease.
What happened with Davor Suker? I don’t know! I can guess, but I don’t know.
Why not tell us what happened with Suker?
He’s not French, he’s history. So why not say what went down,even if you don’t attribute it to his teammates? The book pulls a few punches and sometimes it’s annoying.
But, overall, a pretty good effort. Wish I could have finished it sooner.
I read a lot of books but I never catch up, just as I never catch up on the ANR pieces that float into my head as I’m walking down the street.
And sometimes I have to read a book twice, like Kurt Vonnegut.
We are having Xmas dinner – mother, father, son, daughter, turkey, champagne – and Caroline’s been doing war literature and she’s reading Slaughterhouse 5 and she said,”It’s a rubbish book.I don’t know how it got published.”
“I used to like Vonnegut’s style,” I said.
“You’re a bloke!” she said.
It’s true that Vonnegut was once one of my main men.My heroes are novelists, not footballers.
Somewhere in one of his books a character says, “The secret of happiness lies in realising that life is divided into phases and that you have to do what’s expected of you in each phase.”
So that’s what I did.
Typical Myles, really : I created my philosophy of life from a throwaway remark by a fictional character.
Tonight C has finished Slaughterhouse 5 and given it to me and I’ve said I’ll read it again.
Happy New Year,wherever you are.
27th December 2002.