Wayne Rooney, our best player, was our worst player in the 0-0 against Macedonia. He was so bad he was taken off.
Gerrard was our second worst player and Downing was our third worst player.
I misjudged the Macedonia game. I thought England would attack and win free-kicks and corners and John Terry or Ledley King or somebody would stab in the sort of goal that Gary Caldwell scored for Scotland against France.
By 68 minutes, when Shaun Wright-Phillips was coming on as a sub, I switched over to France and was shocked to find that Scotland were beating them 1-0, so I stayed with that. Hampden was in uproar. The stadium was rocking.Thousands of Scots were going ballistic.
But when Wiltord came on for Ribery I switched back to Macedonia and saw Shaun set up Gerrard for a shot that hit the bar.That was as good as it got but SWP is not expected to start today.
My best friend Doug says the October World Soccer is a must, so this morning I got World Soccer and The Guardian and saw John, my gambling greengrocer.
He wins a lot of complicated, risky bets and last night he did England Under-21s to draw at half-time in Germany and win the game. He won that bet at 8-1 and he asked if I fancied Latvia in Northern Ireland. I said Latvia look very slick but I didn’t know if they could win that game.
“What about England?” he said.
“We have to attack to draw,” I said. “And he’s playing Carragher in a 3-5-2 formation. If Ledley King is injured, bring back Rio and get on with it ! We’re not good enough to switch systems every three days. He’s bottled it before a ball’s been kicked. How can we attack with such a defensive formation?”
Jan says I shouldn’t watch the Croatia game.
“You’ll only get cross and angry.”
She has a day off today.
“Don’t watch it, Dad. Watch something else, ” says Michael, grinning He is also here today.
“Are Croatia a good little team?” says Jan.
“I don’t know but they will have a coherence and fluency about the way they play, which we won’t have.”
Still, I’m not going to stress because there are only six possible scenarios.
1. Play well and win.
2. Play well and lose.
3. Play well and draw.
4. Play badly and win.
5. Play badly and draw.
6. Play badly and lose.
I ruled out 1 and 2 and 3, obviously, and I ruled out 2 because we haven’t played well and lost since Brazil in the 1970 World Cup.
When Owen and Beckham were around to score a goal, we could play badly and win.
So, realistically, the most I can hope for is 5 : Play badly and draw.
Having figured that out, I don’t have to think about Engerland for the next five hours.
Hooray!!!
BUT ON THURSDAY morning I might be asking questions.
What does Venables do? What is the relationship between Venables and McClaren? Do they get on? If McClaren needs Venables to hold his hand, should he be England coach ? How can McClaren bring a fresh eye to England, and fresh ideas, when he has been so closely involved since 2001? Will dropping Beckham be the only bold decision he ever makes?
Is Steve McClaren a second-rate technocrat who spends all his time making notes and swotting up ProZone stats? Will he be sacked after a year or two? If McClaren gets the bullet, will Brian Barwick, who appointed him, be sacked as well?