Theatre of Dreams is now the Theatre of Zlatan

The big man has a top-knot like a samurai.

A samurai was a Japanese warrior who studied his discipline with fierce intensity to become a proud master of his martial art.

A great samurai had to be very smart and strong to win every fight.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic reminds me of a samurai.

As a kid his heroes were Bruce Lee and Muhammad Ali and in Malmo he studied taekwondo and earned a black belt at seventeen.

You could, actually, hire Zlatan to save the village from a group of murderous bandits.

Or you can hire him to save Manchester United fans from boring 0-0 draws at home.

West Brom v Man Utd was on Saturday.

When Antonio Valencia hit a 60-yard ball forward in 5 minutes, Jesse Lingard raced after it and hit a cross on the second bounce that allowed Zlatan to stoop and head in from 8 yards, after he had evaded the centreback by tugging his arm momentarily.

Second half, Zlatan made it 2-0 with a shot that deflected and went in off the far post for 2-0 in the 56th minute.

Manchester United has always been about speed and raiding wingers and spectacle, ever since the Sixties, wingers who can score goals and make goals, like Willie Morgan and John Connelly and Kanchelskis and Beckham and Giggs.

On Saturday Mourinho said, “I think he has proven that he is Superman in his mentality.”

Mental strength? This guy has it.

As a sixteen year old he was brought to Arsenal’s training ground and Wenger asked him to play in a trial and the confident kid said, “Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.”